6 tips to overcome vaginismus
Vaginismus is a condition where you experience involuntary spasms and tension in the lower abdomen, which can make it painful or impossible to insert a finger, tampon or have penetrative sex. It can be a terribly painful and unpleasant experience.
If you have vaginismus and are reading this post, you may be feeling a lot
alone. Alone in your pain and uncertainty…
But here is some encouraging news, namely that vaginismus is 100% curable!
And you are not alone! Other women have been through the same thing as you and they have overcome vaginismus by following some very simple yet powerful tips to overcome vaginismus.
Vaginismus is often caused by psychosomatic experiences, where something transgressive or unpleasant has settled in the body as tension.
Perhaps you have experienced a situation where you could not say no or escape. The body may take it as an attack and respond by tightening up and "shutting down" to protect you. When such trauma is not processed, it can lead to vaginismus.
Try to see vaginismus as a protective mechanism that your body has put on. Instead of fighting it, meet it with compassion, understanding and acceptance.
What would you do if your best friend was having a hard time and was exposed to something unpleasant? You would probably comfort her.
Here are six simple but effective tips to help you on your way to healing:
1) Dilator practice
A dilator is a tool that resembles a thin dildo, which can help you get used to the muscles being touched and gradually work towards relaxation. Start slowly with the smallest size and work your way up when you feel ready. It is important to have patience and let your body adjust to each size without rushing the process. A dilator can be a good support for relaxing the pelvic floor muscles over time. For this, you can use Rosakvart's pleasure wand in a narrow size, and when you have progressed a little further, the traditional pleasure wand or the Stella Glass dildo .
2) Create an enjoyable practice
When using a dilator, it is important that the experience feels comfortable and safe. Enjoyment and relaxation can help counteract tension and discomfort. Consider using the dilator in conjunction with a vibrator to create a pleasurable sensation, and make sure you only use the dilator when the body feels ready and relaxed. Remember, it shouldn't hurt - pleasure is an important part of the healing process.
3) Give yourself time and go slowly
Healing vaginismus requires patience and understanding that the process happens at your own pace. Many experience a desire to get through quickly and "fix" the condition, but healing happens best when you make room for the slowest part of yourself. Start gently by massaging the outer area of the vulva and use breathing exercises to create calm and safety. Over time, you can slowly start introducing the dilator without feeling pressured to rush.
4) Pelvic floor massage
When you're ready to go deeper, pelvic floor massage can help you relax the areas where the body has stored tension. A Calypso Cervix rod or other glass dildo can be a good tool to gently explore and massage the muscles in the vaginal canal. Massaging the pelvic area can loosen old tension and help replace pain with a sense of pleasure and relaxation. Another product that can support you in this process is the Sway™ - Vibrating Pelvic Floor Wand , which is designed to help relax the pelvic floor area and relieve deeper-seated tension. With its vibrations, the Sway™ wand can stimulate relaxation while also strengthening the pelvic floor in a pleasant way. However, be aware that you should only use this when you have started to be able to relax your muscles, as vibrations can make you tense up even more. At Gudindetemplet.dk you can find beautiful yoni wands that are designed to support you in your healing journey and strengthen your connection to your body and femininity.
5) Confirmations of security
When vaginismus is psychosomatic, healing can be facilitated by working with both mind and body. Positive affirmations about security are essential for creating inner peace. Tell yourself that you are safe and that your body can relax – this can help reduce fear and build confidence in your own body. These small, friendly reminders are like a loving conversation with yourself, calming your nervous system and supporting your body's natural healing.
6) Use deep breaths to stimulate the vagus nerve
Deep, calm breaths through the mouth can calm your nervous system and activate the vagus nerve, which runs from the head to the abdomen and connects us to responses such as fear, fight or flight. By breathing deeply, you can send a signal to the vagus nerve that the body is safe and can relax. This can reduce muscle tension in the pelvic area and promote a sense of well-being and calmness.
Overcoming vaginismus is about giving yourself permission to progress at your own pace, without pressure or rush. It is a path where patience and self-love are your best allies.